The stupid stories
John
John Was A Zombie is a stupid story about the computer game 'Doom'. It's probably the best example of a scary story being so bad it becomes amazingly good. Originally titled 'Doom: Repercussions of Evil', it was written by Peter Chimaera in 2002 and posted on a fanfiction website. In the years that followed, it came to be regarded as one of the most awesomely-bad fanfictions on the web. As its fame grew, the notorious story was reposted all over the internet under the titles 'And then John Was a Zombie' and 'Be Kill by Demons'. Here at Scary For Kids, we love a good scary story, but we also love a so-bad-it's-funny scary story. Enjoy! John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway. John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad 'I want to be on the ships, Daddy.' Dad said, 'No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS!' There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons. 'This is Joson', the radio crackered. 'You must fight the demons!' So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall. 'HE GOING TO KILL US!' said the demons. 'I will shoot at him', said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill. 'No! I must kill the demons!' he shouted. The radio said 'No, John. You ARE the demons.' And then John was a zombie. The End. Praise for the story: 'Wow... just wow... this story.. where to begin... let's just say I 'plasmaed' my shorts after reading it. - Insomniac3 'Possibly the best work I've seen on this website. If anything, Doom should be considered a fan adaptation of this story.' - WhatATwist 'This is one of the funniest things I've ever read! Chimaera has managed to do things which no Doom fan has ever done before.' - Stupid Bunny 'Genius! Pure genius! This is a cautionary tale that stresses the negative consequences of joining the armed forces. It also explores a Freudian struggle between a man and his father. Furthermore, I believe this story truly stresses that black-and-white thinking is detrimental to humankind, as you can neither say that John is a good person nor that the demons are truly evil. Eventually, we learn that John's amplified sense of masculinity leads to his downfall.' - Cheesecrimp 'Doom: Repercussions of Evil is a multi-layered, thoughtful piece of prose in which the protagonist is wrestling with the demons of his present and how they have manifested from his troubled past.' - LiteraryCritic
